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Hadith of the Month: February

“The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a perfume seller an a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell.”

Bukhari and Muslim

So, when I was mulling over which hadith I liked for my February Hadith of the Month, I knew I really wanted to do something about good companionship. In the spirit of honesty though, I only chose this specific hadith on friendship because I love perfume (in my own house of course!), and I was superficially attracted to my own image of a scent diffuser bottle…so yeah.

Besides the nice featured image though, I really do love the message behind this hadith, and it really goes to show how you are influenced by who you hang out with. And I have truly noticed this in my own life: when I hang out with certain groups of people (usually my non-Muslim friends from back in the day), I can feel how much my personality kind of reverts to how it was before Islam. I become much harsher in speech and swear more, and I even return to being super-sarcastic.

When I am talking to the sisters in one of my WhatsApp groups or other Muslimah bloggers, however, I can see a marked difference. I use the smiley and heart emojis all the time, I am much softer and far less judge-y, and have almost never said a sarcastic comment to any of them.

And you can guess which version of myself is the better one!

That’s not to say that all of my pre-Islam friends fall into the “evil friend,” category, but more of an example of how the company you keep really does affect the kind of person you are.

That is why it is so important in Islam to choose your friends wisely. Talk to people whom you look up to and admire within the community, reach out for a conversation with that sister that you wish you were more like. Over time, exposing yourself to the “beautiful scent” of righteous people, will in turn begin to give you that beauty of your own.

And on the flip side of that, try your best to be a perfume seller to those around you, and not a blacksmith. Like attracts like, as the saying goes, and when you are trying your best to be a kind, caring person, you will attract others with the same goals and values, inshaAllah.

I think praying for righteous friends, who will remind of me of Allah swt and encourage me to grow in Islam, is one of the duas I make most often, and alhamdullilah I have seen that being answered a little bit at a time through some of the beautiful sisters I have recently met.

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10 thoughts on “Hadith of the Month: February

  1. I love this hadith and totally identify with what you’ve described. I feel like it’s our duty to be the perfume in our non-Muslim friends lives InshaAllah. SubhanAllah I used to be someone’s non-Muslim friend and through their beautiful character I became Muslim alhamdulillah

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is something I’ve always noticed. When I hang out with certain people I can’t help but revert to my “former” self. The swearing and judging especially. Controlling that is so difficult! When I manage to control myself though it seems like I’m disinterested in their conversation, too reserved and not myself. but when I contribute I feel like I’m going against who I’m striving to be. The balance is really difficult since, obviously, I don’t want to alienate my friends, but I also what to stay true to myself. (if you have advice on these situations please share)

    I’ve also always prayed for good friends & influences and reading this post made me realise that I stopped including that in my duas lately. I’ve only now just realised that Allah most merciful has answered my dua in the last couple of months. I have so many more muslimah friends who engage in all sorts of awesome islamic activities and inspire me to do better and be better. Allhamdulillah for that. Your post also made me realise that I still shouldn’t stop praying for it; because there can be no shortage of good influences!

    Thanks! and may Allah bless you 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ameen and thanks for the comment! I know what you mean about conversations with old friends not sound “like yourself,” I actually don’t have any very good advice on it…I guess I just try to control myself and remember that it is better to seem unattached or disinterested or whatever rather than earning Allah swt’s displeasure. For the most part I have just kind of tried to hang out less with my old non Muslim friends, as much as that sucks…

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Ahhhh how scarily true may Allah forgive us! It’s far too easy to make this mistake. It can takes years and years of acquiring knowledge, building a good character and becoming God fearing and then hang out with the wrong friends for a few days and all of a sudden, we are swearing, our outlook is being challenged and Shaytan is our best friend!
    May Allah protect us…
    I prefer to keep a quiet, low key life for this reason, I don’t really trust myself. I don’t socialise and that’s ok. I feel like people think it’s a must otherwise you’re wasting your life but how? How is socialising using time efficiently. I much prefer to settle down to my Islamic programmes or a good book/blog?
    Old fashioned? Maybe. Better for myself? Absolutely.
    I do enjoy a good giggle now and again though and if anyone chats to me at work, I’m always ready to listen and laugh. (I have the noisiest laugh on the planet) so I usually need to be careful of that and make sure there’s no men around! lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally get that- I guess when I think about it I don’t socialise much either. I talk to my blogging sisters and the sisters in my WhatsApp group, but those discussions are usually very beneficial alhamdulillah. For the rest of the time I chat with either my husband or the cat 😂 or like you said, listening to Islamic podcasts or lectures while I do housework or embroidery. I hadn’t really actually thought about it until now, because I have never been a very social person, but like you said it is probably far better for me! I tend to talk toooo much when I get around other friends or acquaintances and I don’t really like that trait in myself

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Me too. I’m Scottish after all, so chatting is one thing I do best but I try to limit my social outgoings. Basically, I don’t go out just to “socialise” even though I used to do that a lot but it’s a habit I have slowly gotten rid of. I didn’t realise it was such a waste of time before.
        “To be alone means you avoid bad company, but to have a true friend is better than being alone.” – Umar Ibn Al Khattab (ra)

        Jazak Allah Kheir for your hard work & reminders!

        Like

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