On Trials

Salaam everyone.

I usually try to keep as much of my personal issues off of my blog as possible, but today I seem to be having an unusually hard time of things.

I feel like we have hit every roadblock and delay physically possible on this visa application, I am feeling homesick, missing family, and feeling trapped in a country with no infrastructure upon which to build any semblance of a life. The simplest things feel impossible to me; I can’t even keep up with one of my favorite hobbies—writing good ol’ snail mail—because the postal system here is so dysfunctional.

So yeah, I’m feeling a bit down.

Lately I have been just trying to remind myself that this is life. Allah swt tells us multiple times in the Qur’an that the believers will be tested with losses and hard times, and how often do we hear that the more Allah swt tests a servant, the more He loves him? The prophets, the most beloved people to Allah swt, went through unimaginable trials and tribulations.

But it feels so hard when you are in it. It feels like this one day is never going to end, let alone this whole life.  It is hard to see the end goal through the fog of sadness, disappointment, loss, or any other negative emotions we are experiencing.

I told one of my sisters in a Whatsapp group earlier today that literally all I have right now is dua and prayer, and I am just giving it all up to Allah swt. And she reminded me that sometimes that is the very reason that we are put through hardships.

Allah swt wants to hear us call out to Him, He wants to hear us ask him. He wants us to remember Who it is that we are truly reliant upon, and Who can give us anything that we want or need.

There are also so many lessons to be learned in hardships. I know for me personally, living in a country where pretty much every aspect of daily life is an uphill battle, I have learned to appreciate so many things that I never thought about before. A functional postal system, craft stores where I can get embroidery supplies, running water that can be made hot or cold on a whim, steady electricity, an internet connection, the fresh fruit on my table. All of these are such gifts that I never thought about before it was difficult to find them.

During hardships we also learn to be humble. Humility is one of the best-loved characteristics to Allah swt, and sometimes we just have to learn it the hard way. Nothing brings you lower than knowing that the only way out of the trouble you are facing is to cry to Allah swt, nothing reminds you of His might and His power more than complete, and utter reliance on Him.

If life was all good times we as humans would never remember how much we need Allah swt, and we would not ever be able to taste the sweetness of the good without the bitter contrast of the bad. That is what I am reminding myself of today; I am remembering other times in my life that were hard, and how I thought they would last forever. And they didn’t.

And I am imagining how it is going to feel once all of these things which, right now, I feel like are impossible to resolve, are finally finished and I have moved on to better times. How much I will appreciate the ease and the rest, how grateful I will be to Allah swt for giving me the best possible outcome.

Because we never know what amazing things Allah swt has in store for us. All we can do in the moment is pray, ask, cry to Him and wait out the storm.

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18 thoughts on “On Trials

  1. “Humility is one of the best-loved characteristics to Allah swt, and sometimes we just have to learn it the hard way.”

    I agree with you but also I think we make it hard on ourselves, at times. You can put 2 people in the very same situation, life and moment but one will be grateful for it and the other will resent it – it’s all about personal attitude towards life.

    I also read that if we all put our problems on a piece of paper then we mixed the paper’s up and had to take someone else’s paper i.e someone else’s problem we would wish and beg for our own problem back…. that’s because Allah is the All Wise – He tests YOU with exactly how much YOU can bear… and vice versa…

    Just KNOW and BELIEVE that the best days of your life haven’t happened yet! (How exciting is that?!) Just KNOW that one day your du’aa will be answered, in the most miraculous way and you will be emotional and your love for Allah will increase more and you will wonder why He is SO Generous to you and people will tell you it’s because you were patient but still you can’t quite believe His Generosity to you……

    Wait for the ease, sister ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. ashleybounoura

      Jazakum Allahu khairan for the comment, I appreciate it! I needed a bit of a pep talk ☺️ it’s true though, thinking of what Allah could have in store for me in the future is really what’s keeping me going these days. Just have to remember and trust the He is the best of planners, and He really does only have our best interests in mind, metaphorically speaking 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh okhti, may Allah make it easy for all of us. SubhanAllah, how it is… we’re all tested with something different. For us we’ve been eager to make our move back overseas. I grew up overseas, and even though the convenience of the west can be nice…we’re homesick for hearing the athan and religion classes. Miss seeing Islam in every corner and every turn we make. We are the states now and just moved from FL to Michigan to be around more people of knowledge. But can’t quite find the same thing I found when I was abroad. May Allah make it easy for us. We’ve been looking for opportunities for 2 years now… May Allah open a way for us.

    Alhamdulillah this Dunya is not what is forever. May Allah grant you relief from your pain, and grant you Jannah Al-Fridays. Ameen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ashleybounoura

      Ameen to your duas and jazakum Allahu khairan for your comment. It is interesting to see how others experiences can be so different! For me it is exactly so I can practice my deen in peace that I want to go…plus generally so we have an opportunity at life in a country with a decent economy etc. But here it is so steeped in culture, I have a hard time finding Islam anywhere but the athaan subhanAllah. May Allah make it easy for you and put you wherever will be most beneficial! Ameen

      Like

  3. May He help you through this hard time. I know it can be really difficult. My first 4 years in Morocco were a nightmare. Fortunately, I could spend all my summers in Europe with my family. It gave me the strength to spend the rest of the year there. Hope you will be able to travel soon 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is beautiful Ashley. It’s so true; it’s so easy to say things like “Allah promises to test us” but when we are actually stuck right in the middle of the storm it’s sooo much harder to put those words into practice or to feel them in our hearts. But what we have to do is never give up on reminding ourselves of His Power and Mercy, subhan’Allah. And it’s so true, we learn so many incredible lessons from those hardships.

    I pray everything works out for you my dear. Love you so much for the sake of Allah…and and of course I always love when the WhatsApp group gets mentioned here, it makes me so happy =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ashleybounoura

      Haha seems like I am always mentioning the Whatsapp group, but I haven’t actually been in there so consistently lately! 😝

      Thank you for your prayers, and I love you too for the sake of Allah ❤

      Like

  5. AsSalam Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu!

    May Allah make everything easy for you my dear sister. Don’t be sad and always remember Allah has the best plan for you. (Maybe it is delayed for a reason) In shaa Allah you will travel soon! ❤️

    Holy Quran 65:3
    —————–
    “And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ashleybounoura

      Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh 😊

      Jazakum Allahu khairan for the comment and the encouragement! That was the perfect ayah to put everything into perspective 💕

      Liked by 1 person

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