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Bismillah al-Rahman al-Raheem

Salaam everyone, and welcome to Muslimah According to Me! This is where I share my experiences and reflections as an American convert to Islam, and I strive to make this a place for converts, born-Muslims, and non-Muslims alike to come for open and honest discussion. And hopefully learning a little something new!

If you are a new Muslim, make sure to check out my resources page,  where I share books, articles, videos and other resources that I myself found very helpful on my journey to Islam. And if you are ever in need of some support, someone who has been there and can lend an ear, or just have some questions for me, feel free to drop comments on any of my articles, or head over to the contact form for a more private discussion!

To get you started, you can go check out some of these popular posts here, here and here. And to learn more about me personally, head over to my about page.

And don’t forget to subscribe to blog and check out all the social media to keep up with the latest over here.

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On Matters of “Inequality”

Salaam all!

I wanted to share with y’all today something that I really struggled with as a convert to Islam, and something that I think a lot of Muslimahs in general struggle with who haven’t necessarily had the time to really study the religion and wisdom behind the rulings. Today I’m talkin’ about money, and specifically, inheritance.

I think I may have mentioned these issues before, but I thought it may be useful to expand on them.

We all know that Islamically, women get less of a share of inheritance than their male family members. Islamophobes cite this as one of the reasons that Islam is inherently backward and barbaric, (some) men cite it as a reason they are “better” than women, and women are left not understanding why there is such an unfair rule in what they are told is a perfect religion. On the surface, it does seem super old-fashioned and not fair at all; I had a huge problem with it that I have been sweeping under the rug since 2014.

But then I was listening to a lecture, and the wisdom behind the verses on inheritance were mentioned. What was a passing remark for the speaker, was a big “ah-ha!” moment for me. How had I never even thought about it like that before?

Here is what the speaker explained: men get more of the inheritance because they have more of the responsibility. Simple as that.

But let me break it down in case there are some that are still not convinced, because I wasn’t either until I had a good hard think about it (don’t worry, I won’t get into any actual math because that is soooo not my thing). Continue reading “On Matters of “Inequality””

My 5 Favorite Resources for New Muslims

1.Introductory Books:

I am sure you can go to a book store and pick up 500 different books on “intro to Islam,” but I wanted to share with you the two or three that I read back in the day. Islam the Natural Way and Islam in Focus were both recommended to me before I converted, and I loved both of them. I also remember picking out Welcome to Islam on my own, and finding that one quite helpful. Writing this right now actually makes me want to go back and re-read these, just to see how far I have come since then!

2.Other reverts’ stories: Continue reading “My 5 Favorite Resources for New Muslims”

Lives of the Prophets: Adam (as) and his Sons

Salaam everyone!

Apologies for the delay in getting around to posting the next set of notes from the series—I usually listen to my podcasts while I embroider or do housework, so for this one I actually have to sit down and take the notes, which I find it harder to get in my schedule!

At any rate, today’s notes are from the next set of episodes of the Qalam Institute’s podcast on the lives of the prophets, all about the two sons of Adam (as), Cain and Abel. The Arabic pronunciation of their names is Qabeel and Habeel, though I find myself getting quite mixed up when I use those, so for this post I will be sticking with the English versions.

It will be a shorter one than the last, because the two episodes dealing with their story were much shorter, but in shaa Allah you will learn something new and take some benefit from it; I know I did alhamdulillah! Continue reading “Lives of the Prophets: Adam (as) and his Sons”

For the Sisters: Staying Connected When you can’t Pray or Fast

Salaam alaikum y’all!

So, we are coming up on Ramadan fast. Like, quite fast. As of posting we only have a month and some days left. For some of us that is pretty exciting, but for some of us (new reverts, first time fasters anyone?) that can be pretty daunting.

I remember my very first Ramadan, being on such a spiritual high, a productive kick at work, I seemed to be seeing everything through pink, sparkly glasses. But then, a week and a half or so in, disaster struck: the dreaded menstrual cycle.

(Men who are reading this can feel free to duck out at this point if this isn’t a topic that you care to know much about…it’s only going to get worse from here!)

Up until this month, I had been pretty lazy where my period was concerned, but this was different. It was Ramadan, and I didn’t want to lose my momentum in such a sacred month. As a new Muslimah, however, I was a bit confused as to what I could and could not do during this week.

I asked around some of my friends, and actually managed to come up with a plan that kept me spiritually connected and productive during the eight days that I couldn’t fast with everyone else, and today, I want to share some of those things that I did. In shaa Allah you can implement these things in your own life not only during the month of Ramadan, but all year round in order to keep yourself spiritually “plugged in” even when you can’t perform ritual prayer or fasting. Continue reading “For the Sisters: Staying Connected When you can’t Pray or Fast”

Guest Post: My Journey to Prayer

Salaam everyone!

So, if you follow Abigail over on her blog, you will have definitely already read the post that you are about to see here. I asked her to do a guest post for me, and she graciously agreed, but since I have bad connectivity over here, it ended up on her site before I did mine!

But at any rate, I still absolutely had to share it with you. I met Abigail through blogging way back in the day when I first converted, and she was still blogging as a Christian hijabi.

I am so glad to have made her acquaintance when I did, and we have both witnessed so much change and growth in the years that followed. I was honored to be one of the sisters to witness her official shahada when she converted to Islam.

She has always been an inspiration to me, ma shaa Allah, but one thing that I have always loved was her story with prayer. She struggled for a long time with it, and seeing her persistence and how much she loved it despite the difficulty, always makes me pause to think about how I treat my own five daily prayers.

I do hope you will enjoy her post, and for sure go follow her blog if you aren’t already! You can find the original article here.

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For many years I was a very good Christian girl. I prayed and read my Bible and Bible commentary every morning before doing anything else. I always had words to pray, so many words. I also prayer journaled, which for those who don’t know is where you write out prayers to God in a notebook. When my massive spiritual crisis began in 2014, I was at a loss for words. I didn’t know what to say to God. I wasn’t angry at Him, just speechless. But I asked God to guide me. I began reading the Quran, and from the first time I read the Fatiha I began to pray it in English in the many moments that I seemingly had nothing to say to God.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to say to God. I had so many feelings and thoughts bottled up inside that I wanted to let out in prayer, but when I bowed my head and closed my eyes I couldn’t seem to put those feelings into words. God seemed distant and deaf. I couldn’t help but wonder why He’d bother listening to me – or even if He would at all. Time and again, I turned to the Fatiha. It gave me the words I didn’t have. It summed up everything I wanted to ask of God.  Continue reading “Guest Post: My Journey to Prayer”

Manners of a Muslim Part II

Salaam! Today I want to jump right into the continuation of last week’s post, Manners of a Muslim Part I, to continue the discussion of such an important part of our faith, which unfortunately tends to take a back seat to discussions around worship and rules.

So here are three more points that I find particularly wonderful, where Islam emphasises good manners and treatment of other human beings!

Respect and care for children and the elderly

I thin respecting one’s elders is a theme in many societies (though the modern USA tends to see the elderly as more of a burden these days…), but Islam specifically mentions good treatment of the elderly, as well as children, in the very same hadith.

“He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children, nor honor the elderly.” Narrated in Tirmidhi

The Prophet (saws) was known to always greet children with a smiling face and a pat on the head, and take the time to talk to them, making them feel like respected members of the community. He always encouraged them to learn and grow, and seek knowledge in that which was interesting to them.

How often today do we pack our children off with the iPad or the iPhone to go stare mindlessly at a screen, instead of engaging in meaningful conversation with them? Perhaps children would be better behaved if they had the chance to observe good examples from the parents and their guests on what manners and good behavior should look like.

As for the elderly, we are all aware of societal norms such as giving up your seat on the bus for an elderly person, letting an older woman cut in front of you in the grocery store line, helping them to carry or move large objects, and the like, but I think we as Muslims can extend this respect a little bit further. Sit with those older community members in the mosque, listen to their stories and ask them to share lessons from their long lives with you. Maybe ask them to teach you about a certain thing that you know that are passionate about.

I think it is especially important in Muslim communities to start getting the youth and the older generation together, to work on learning from and understanding each other, in order to built a more cohesive and positive community.  Continue reading “Manners of a Muslim Part II”

Love for the sake of Allah: The Beauty of Sisterhood

Ok, before you even read this post, you have to go read this love letter from a Muslimah, and this post on the sisterhood of Islam.

“Allah will ask on Day of Judgement: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I will shade them with My shade.”

Hadith Qudsi narrated in Muslim

This whole “love for the sake of Allah” thing was not something I really understood or experienced, up until very, very recently. Now that I do know how beautiful it is, however, I am a little obsessed with how much I love my fellow Muslimahs and our community, just for the fact that we are supposed to love each other as sisters in religion. Which is why, when I read those two posts above, I couldn’t get them out of my head. Especially that love letter, made me smile all day long!

The whole notion of sisterhood and community was one of the things that actually really attracted me to Islam, once I started studying a little more in-depth. I think it was The Ideal Muslimah that really clued me in to what a beautiful community the Muslims must have, always treating each other so kindly, giving gifts just for the joy of it, lending a helping hand to any sister in need. Upon citing these things to my house-mate, who was not much of a fan of the transition I was going through, as reasons that I was seriously considering Islam, she promptly told me that I should just join a book club or a knitting group, and I could find community that way; I didn’t have to make such a drastic change.  Continue reading “Love for the sake of Allah: The Beauty of Sisterhood”

Some Famous Reverts

Salaam alaikum y’all.

Today I want to talk about some of the most famous reverts out there.

And no, I’m not talking about celebrity reverts to Islam. Although, can we talk about that for a second? Why does everyone lose their mind every time a celebrity even looks like they are coming near Islam? I mean, alhamdulillah for anyone who is guided to the truth. Me, you, the old man down the street, Shania Twain….What I’m getting at is it should all be the same. Shania Twain shouldn’t be any more important than me when it comes to celebrating someone embracing Islam. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is super important for celebrities who do come to Islam to then use their immense influence to spread truth and goodness, but I don’t really think that we need celebrity converts to validate our religion. Continue reading “Some Famous Reverts”

Manners of a Muslim Part I

“Nothing is weightier on the scale of deeds than one’s good manners.” Narrated in Bukhari

Salaam all! Today’s topic is something a little different.

I talk all the time about how often converts are read the rule-book soon after converting, and how there needs to be more emphasis on care, support and love throughout the journey, but I have found that when it comes to topics I write about, many of them are still from “the rule-book.”

Then I remembered the above hadith. This was the first one that came into my mind, but there are so many other like it. I even came across a blog post recently with a compilation of ten ahadith on the importance of good manners (here if you are interested).

It is a side to our religion that I, and many others, often overlook in our zeal for fasting and sunnah prayers. But you can see from the hadith above, and many others, that it is such an important part of our religion. Worship and good manners go hand in hard, and you will not succeed if you only have one and not the other. And this is a topic that I have sorely neglected writing about here in a space I claim is for those new to the religion…

So today I want to share some of the points that I find most beautiful on how we as Muslims should be interacting with not only our brothers and sisters in faith, but the general society around us. Continue reading “Manners of a Muslim Part I”

Blog Newsletter

Salaam everyone!

So I am really wanting to start some new projects with this blog, one of which being a newsletter. I would love to have a weekly email with the latest posts, upcoming projects, inspirational quotes, and all sorts of good things, and one of the things all professional bloggers will tell you that you absolutely must have when starting a newsletter is an opt-in.

Now, I am not one to be doing what everyone says you must, but I really do want to start putting some extra time and energy into those of you that have stuck around to follow me, and I hope to give you some extra benefit beyond my weekly posts in shaa Allah.

I love designing stuff and I have some ideas rolling around in my head, but I would love to hear from you guys on this one, since y’all are half the reason I’m even writing this.

I have some ideas for newsletter freebies for new Muslims like a daily ibadah checklist with five daily prayers, tasbeeh, etc. , a step-by-step wudu printable that could be hung on a bathroom mirror, and things like that, but I would also like to hear what would appeal to some of my less-new Muslim readers (like all of the born-Muslims I know are following haha).

What do you think of the ideas above? What about suggestions for things you would love to see as a newsletter opt-in? Also, is there anything you would really love to have me include in the actual newsletter? Do let me know in the comments in shaa Allah (or hit up the contact form if you don’t like comments)!!